| I wish I were someone's butterfly... |
[Jul. 9th, 2003|07:50 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | wishful | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Crazy Town- Butterfly | ] |
Come, my lady, come come my lady
You're my butterfly, sugar, baby...
Come, my lady, come come my lady
You're my butterfly, sugar, baby...
I wanna be somebody's Butterfly... Someone's baby. Someone that they love so much and are in total awe of. It's something to be earned, to be sure... but wouldn't it be nice?
Such a sexy, sexy pretty little thing
**?** You got me sprung with your tongue ring
And I ain't gonna lie cuz your lovin gets me high
So to keep you by my side,
There's nothin that I won't try.
Butterflies in her eyes and her looks to kill
time is passing and I'm asking could this be real?
Cuz I can't sleep, I can't hold still
The only thing I really know is she got sex appeal
I can feel. Too much is never enough
You always gotta lift me up when these times get rough
I was lost now I'm found ever since you been around
Meet a woman that I want see how I'm puttin it down
I want to change someone's world around, too. I want the man I fall in love and with and marry to appreciate me and what I do for him... Appreciate the impact I make on his life as much as I appreciate him. I want him to write a song about me.
Come, my lady, come come my lady
You're my butterfly, sugar, baby...
Come, my lady, you're my pretty baby.
I make your legs shake you make me go crazy.
Come, my lady, come come my lady
You're my butterfly, sugar, baby...
Come, my lady, you're my pretty baby.
I make your legs shake you make me go crazy.
I wanna make someone go crazy. To be totally and completely in love, no holds barred, so to speak. No rules, no regulations, no games.
I don't deserve you, in essence **?**
You show me life is precious and I guess its true.
But together too throughly never knew till I met you.
See, I was lost and confused, twisted and used up
I knew a better life existed but thought that I missed it
My life style wild, I was living like a wild child,
Trapped on a short leash, parole, and police files.
Say, yo, whats happenin now?
I see the sun breakin down into dark clouds,
And a vision of you, standin out in the crowd. So,
I wish I stood out in the crowd. I wish I was totally sexy and wild for him. No use wishing, of course. Something I have to work for. But this song just makes me want it so badly. There's no way I could handle being committed at this time in my life, but what's wrong with dreaming?
Come, my lady, come come my lady
You're my butterfly, sugar, baby...
Come, my lady, you're my pretty baby.
I make your legs shake you make me go crazy.
Come, my lady, come come my lady
You're my butterfly, sugar, baby...
Come, my lady, you're my pretty baby.
I make your legs shake you make me go crazy.
I hope someday I am someone's pretty baby. I want to make him go crazy, I want to drive him completely wild and have the most passionate loving experience.
Hey, sugar mamma, come dance with me
The smartest thing you ever did was take a chance with me
Whatever tickles your fancy,
Girl me and you like Cid and Nancy
So sexy, almost evil. Talkin 'bout butterflies in my head.
I used to think that happy endings were only in the books I read,
But you made me feel alive when I was almost dead.
You filled that empty space with the love I used to chase and
As far as I can see it don't get better than this
So, Butterfly, here is a song, and its sealed with a kiss,
And a thank you, miss.
I wanna dance together...
Come and dance with me
Come and dance with me
Come and dance with me
So Come and dance with me, uh-huh uh-huh
Come, my lady, come come my lady
You're my butterfly, sugar, baby...
Come, my lady, you're my pretty baby.
I make your legs shake you make me go crazy.
Come, my lady, come come my lady
You're my butterfly, sugar, baby...
Come, my lady, you're my pretty baby.
I make your legs shake you make me go crazy.
Come, my lady, come come my lady
You're my butterfly, sugar, baby...
Come, my lady, you're my pretty baby.
I make your legs shake you make me go crazy.
Come and dance with me
Come and dance with me
Come and dance with me
Come and dance with me, uh-huh uh-huh
Come and dance with me
Come and dance with me
Come and dance with me
Come and dance with me
Until then, I have this song, right? Maybe love like that doesn't exist... As I get older I see how complicated it really becomes. Maybe it doesn't exist. But, maybe... It does. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 9th, 2003|02:55 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | rambunctious | ] |
Tell me what you think... What color should the text be to make it more legible? Do you like the background, the layout? And ideas for a new icon? Talk to me, people! |
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| Bittersweet Symphony |
[Jul. 9th, 2003|01:21 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | Peaceful | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Eternity | ] |
I was listening to it on the way home.... And just had to think: how true. it is. Life really is a bittersweet symphony.
Bittersweet. Ain't it the truth. Everything that tastes the sweetest always seems to have a bitter aftertaste. However, it runs the other way, too. Just when things are the worst, something beautiful happens. It may not last long, but it's enough to keep everyone from killing themselves. I honestly don't know how my parents have made it so long and not killed themselves from frustration with the human race. Maybe I'm the slightest bit morbid or pessimistic, but each day I go on I see how hopeless it all really is. But something small and delightful always keeps me going and keeps the world in motion, and bearable for just one more moment. One more moment...
Symphony. Life is a symphony. It keeps moving, always... Always flowing and changing, carrying us with the tide of the music. Sometimes soft and sweet, sometimes loud, fast, and overwhelming. It keeps our hearts beating fast. Every person is walking to their own rythm, but all of us seem to hear at least something similar in our heartbeats.
I don't know, honestly... At this point I'm just typing, getting my feelings out. Sometimes this is the best therapy. And, right now, I need all the therapy I can get. Not that my life has ever been that bad. I've grown up and lived middle-class, gone to good schools, and I've never wanted for anything I actually needed. I'm not ugly, I'm not fat, I'm not stupid. But everyone, even the ones who seem the luckiest, suffer sometimes. And sometimes they just need to vent.
I'm going to get lost tonight. I want to... I just want to be totally lost with my thoughts and be someplace dark and alone for a while. It seems like thats where I am most of the time anyway, but for once I'd like to think I'm where I want to be.
Life is relentless. It never stops. Thigns keep coming at you, and never slow down. I feel like I'm in stasis right now, and yet obstacles keep flying past me at a speed I can barely handle but always manage to. I'm crying and smiling, flying and sinking, devastated and elated, apprehensive and excited... All at the same time. Every turn uncovers something new and fantastic, and deadly. Will this continue like this my whole life, or will it pass? My dad says he'd never be a teenager again given the choice. So, I wonder... does it ever end?
I know I have so much more to go through before anything is at peace. We change as much between 20 and 25 as we do between 15 and 20. I'm barely even through the first two years of that. It's daunting. How am I going to do this? How many people will I encounter? How many will decieve me? How may will I decieve, unwittingly or not? Will I fall in love? More than once? What pains will befall me? What will I learn from these crucial years?
Bob Marley said it best: Everything's gonna be alright. Everything's gonna be alright.
So woman, no cry.
I'll try. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 5th, 2003|12:40 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  indescribable | ] |
i...am...so...sad distressed utterly broken... |
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| Mmmm I'm badass |
[Jun. 30th, 2003|05:59 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  devious | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Pillar | ] |
You are Caine, the first of the vampires. Immortal
and powerful, you wander alone, doing what you
want to do, when you want to do it.
What famous dark villian are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 23rd, 2003|02:04 am] |
You are Wonder Woman. Egads. You are a man hater,
and you are a man magnet. You must be
destroyed, for you are a walking oxymoron. No
man can have you. You crazy amazon. All
super-heroes stay clear of you because they
want to keep their man-hood, and you'll likely
steal it away from them.
Which Superhero Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla |
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| Zzzzzzzzzz |
[Jun. 22nd, 2003|11:39 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  satisfied | ] |
What a LOOOONG day. Stayed up way too late last night. Worked for eight and a half hours today. I'm working thrity-two hours this week. Good money, but damn I'm tired.
I hope Michael's okay. I know work wasn't too great for him last night(even though I didn't seem too attentive this morning, dear, I was...), and I really hope things are going better tonight. My work schedule allows me to see Michael for, oh--about a half hour each morning. The only days we get to spend time together are Monday, Thursday, Friday, and I work two of those days! *pout*
Oh, well.... We always make the best of the time we have together, anyway. :) Something I love about us is that we're always having fun. Awww. Now I miss him.
Of course we have issues we need to deal with. Every couple does, but ours have never driven us apart from one another, and we make it through every time. It's such a relief to feel secure in a loving relationship. No idiotic power games about who cares more about who, etc... Honesty is difficult for both of us but we're getting better every day passing. I am happy.
I love you. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 19th, 2003|01:11 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | happy | ] |
Hehe... |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 17th, 2003|03:56 am] |
Your EAGLE DAEMON represents an unlikely
combination of fierce pride and remarkable
wisdom. Though widely admired, you can be very
distant at times, and like to stay out of
people's personal lives.
What Animal Would Your Daemon Settle As?
brought to you by Quizilla |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 15th, 2003|11:55 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | peaceful | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Diving - 4 Strings | ] |
I'm diving
Into the blue...
Tell me a secret
I'll tell you mine
I'll tell you about desires
You hide inside
There is so much that we should have done
I was insecure but
Now I'm strong
Diving
Whatever it may take I keep on trying
Diving into you
Diving
Knowing it was you I keep on trying
Diving into you
Diving into you...
I'm diving
Into the blue...
We are rising
Celebrate the night
It was you who showed me
How to fly
Diving
Whatever it may take I keep on trying
Diving into you
Diving
Knowing it was you I keep on trying
Diving into you...
Diving into you...
Diving
Whatever it may take I keep on trying
Diving into you
Diving
Knowing it was you I keep on trying
Diving into you
Diving into you...
That song seems to have particularly poignant meaning at this time. I'll always keep on trying... And I do find myself diving into you.
This morning I will never forget. Their faces; Michael's and my Dad's. Whooee. That was funny as hell. I'll tell my kids about that.
Father's Day... and my dad is leaving again for Canada tomorrow. We went to the Brazilian Steakhouse for dinner, and it was exquisite. My dad had a great time, and I know it wasn't bad for him. I'm proud.
Anyway... Waiting for tomorrow so Michael can come home and we'll try again. It was definitely better yesterday, though. Most definitely. :)
Whatever it may take I keep on trying...
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| A good day. |
[Jun. 14th, 2003|10:57 pm] |
Things have been stressful lately due to a number of reasons... But today was a good day.
My grad party last night was awesome. Thank you to everyone who came that can see this!
Today I got a case for my laptop along with my printer/copier/scanner and a few other things. Then my dad and I went down to the Del Mar Fair.
I jumped off of a 130 ft. platform with a bungee harness around my ankles and waist. HOLY SHIT THAT WAS SO SCARY!!! But it was awesome. We have a picture of me taking the leap and video footage of the whole thing. Kuh-razy!!!! But now I can say I've done it, and it was awesome.
Sleepy time tonight. I've got a massive headahce now, probably due in no small part to my leaping off of a 13-story platform. I meant to go to Mike's grad party tonight but he never called me back after I called his cell. *poke*
I can't wait until Michael comes home in the morning. :) I have so much to tell him! Hopefully the slight strain we've been experiencing will abate... Nothing ever truly comes between us, no matter what.
We know each other better than anyone else ever has. It's amazing. Even tough problems we can work out easily with time and effort. And nothing ever damages our love for each other. I've never been so in love. And I don't think I ever will, again. Yesterday a lot of things came out and were met with patience and love by both parties, and this gives me a lot of hope for our future together. Even things that used to put terrible strain on us just don't seem to matter anymore.
Michael, wherever you are right now and whatever dead people you have in your van, I love you. Be safe!
Anyway... I'm gonna go take a bath, read, and sleep. |
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| Well... It's all over |
[Jun. 13th, 2003|02:32 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  bouncy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | clickity clickity click | ] |
It hasn't hit me yet, I don't think. The fact that I'm not at school right now is kinda weird, but I had every other day off anyway. So... I suppose it's better to look to the future. I suspect it never will hit me that high school is finally over. It will just become something that's been accepted without me ever noticing... That happens a lot.
Graduation was fantastic. I managed to sneak in two beach balls and get them both blown up and flying before any supervisors noticed. There were two others from unknown sources flying around, too. Immature, yes, but it was fun. We went to the Beach House for dinner. I loved being there with my whole family(Michael and Maria included). I had my customary treats: Alaskan King Crab legs followed by espresso and strawberries in cream. Mmm. Strawberries.
Grad Knight was a blast, too. I had a whole night of goofing off with my friends. Mike W. and I got a caricature done, I got a wax cast of my hand holding a black rose, we danced, we climbed rock climbing walls, we did flips in midair on this bungy contraption, EVERYONE got some fake tattoo or another. I saw a lot of old friends from years ago, and said goodbye to people I probably won't see again, at least for quite some time. Most of us stayed until five, when everyone was dragging. After some regretful and not-so-regretful goodbyes, Michael suddenly showed up around a corner. I was so glad to see him!
We went out to breakfast with my parents, then came home and crashed into bed. I just woke up.
Yesterday morning my mom woke me up to open my graduation gift: a laptop computer. Wooooo!!!! It's wonderful... CD/DVD burner, wireless internet connection, wireless optical mouse, an Intel Pentium Four processor, and some type of chip(I forgot its name) that conserves energy. It gives me a slightly slower processor, but its worth the battery conservation. There's lots of other goodies, but I can't remember all of them, nor do I feel like typing them. But it will be great for university, and tomorrow we're going to get a bag for it and a color printer/fax machine/copier/scanner for myself. College will be great!
Today Michael and I are going to go see Finding Nemo (!), then I have my grad party tonight. I can't wait to see my friends!
I got the weekend off of work to relax. Some relaxtation! Anyway, I have to go clean the house to get ready for my party.
I love you, Michael. |
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| Wow... |
[Jun. 10th, 2003|09:45 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | excited | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | 4strings - Diving | ] |
I have nothing to complain about. How 'bout that?
It kinda bugs when I see someone's journal full of pouting, whining, and complaining. Mine used to be like that. It did nothing for me, at all. So sad.
Anyway... I guess I just have too many good thigns to write about to think about anything less than wonderful. I've got a boyfriend who's awesome, I'm graduating high school and passing on to a great university, I've got a job, I'm happy and healthy, I love my family to bits, and I've got a ton of fantastic friends. I couldn't ask for much more.
This is such a time of passing, and it hasn't even hit me yet. In a few months, I'll be...? Here, Long Beach, Canada, somewhere in between? I don't really care. He'll be with me, I'll be having a blast, and that's all I need! Life is good.
I love you, Michael. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 8th, 2003|11:59 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | good | ] |
Mmmmm. Something smells like Michael in this room. I miss him lots.
He came home this morning and told me about this terrible call he had... I'm sure he'll write about it so I'll let him tell the story, but it's always that way in the mornings... He always comes home and tells me about his night. And I love it. He apologizes about telling me, he says he just needs to get it out. I don't think he understands how much I love it that he comes to me to unload and get morning hugs. It means so much to me, to hold him and make everything go away from the night. I can't wait for him to come home to me tomorrow...
It's amazing, you know...
The things I never knew existed
Before I met you
My world was black, charred and twisted.
You look at me today
And you, stuttering, apologize
But everything
I ever wanted is in your eyes...
It's amazing, you know...
The things we've been through
I'm so in love
And all you had to do was be you...
It's crazy... There are things I feel lately that just can't be described. There are things I understand that just can't be understood. I've learned so much and yet I still feel like a child at the edge of the world. I'm so glad there's more to learn... I am stunned.
Come home safe to me, baby. I miss you... I love you, Michael. |
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| Advice |
[Jun. 4th, 2003|12:21 am] |
I should start an advice column with the volumes I'm writing to people tonight...
But this excerpt is just an example of something I want someone to see...
( Read more... ) |
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| Dear lord |
[Jun. 3rd, 2003|11:08 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  annoyed | ] |
A random conversation that I got in to with Brenden, and one of the more frustrating convos of my LIFE:
( Cucumbers v. Potatoes ) |
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| Ultimate sappyness.... Just let me ramble |
[Jun. 2nd, 2003|09:15 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | mushy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Garbage - #1 Crush (Romeo And Juliet Soundtrack) | ] |
So I'm gonna spout for a bit about my baby... I gotta do this once in a while, ya know, so bear with me and prepare to be sickened.
It was so nice today to come home from school, run upstairs, and be wrapped up in warm, strong, loving arms and smothered with kisses. Mmmmm... kisses. I love the way he smells, I love the way he feels, I even love the color of his skin. He's got his own unique style and look about him, and I love it. I love his hair, his eyes, his hands, his knees... Everything. I love everything.
Most of all I love the way he makes me feel. It feels so good to curl up beside him and just listen to his heartbeat while it lulls me to sleep. It feels so good to scream my head off with him on a rollercoaster. Being with him makes it just that more exciting. It feels good even to cry when I'm in his arms... even when I'm upset his hugs make it all better. He makes me smile even when he's not around, and I always miss him. I love spending time with him, whether we're cruising to nowhere for the hell of it, snoozing in my bed, or having some grand adventure in god-knows-where. I even love worrying about him, his reckless driving or anything else. Just cuz it makes me think of him.
Sometimes I'll pick up one of his shirts and I'll snuggle with it for a while just so I can enjoy his scent for a while...
Fourteen months and still going strong... It's amazing. Every moment we share is just as special as any other. I'm done for...
Below all of the cute stuff like eyes and smelly shirts, there's something I can't even describe. Love, deeper than I've ever known it... Understanding so true it makes me cry. Genuine care that touches me so deeply... And I'm amazed to find that I return every feeling with as much passion and pain as he has for me. Most of all I have faith in us. We could make it through anything... As long as we tried. And I know we would try. I would never give him up without a fight. I feel so secure. I know he would always be faithful to me, and support me. I know I would always do the same for him. I am so thankful to have found happiness like this... I'm so happy to have found Michael.
I love him.
I love Michael.
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 1st, 2003|09:09 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | loved | ] |
Oh, wow... My senior Prom.
You said you felt like you were in a dream, dancing with me surrounded by glittering lights. I was in a dream, there with you.... A night I will never forget. Thank you so much for sharing it with me... You made it perfect.
I miss you and hope you're having a good night, and I hope you don't get too many nasty bodies. :) Although I would like you to get some particularly disgusting decomp so you ca come home and tell me about it in the morning. ;P
I love you, Michael... |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 28th, 2003|10:23 am] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Lacuna Coil - No Need to Explain | ] |
I'm worried... Michael isn't home yet. :( He was supposed to be home something like three hours ago. I'm scared... I hope he's okay. Somebody pray for him! |
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fabledangel's journal